I had a friend recently write in his blog that modernity offers us certainty, "but that turned out to be a pipe dream." Is that really true? Is certainty a pipe dream in itself or is our conception of it problematic? We Americans struggle so much with the notion that something can actually be known. It is because existentialism as a defense of spiritual/religious beliefs has become an absolute dogma in many circles.

I have never discounted the possibility, however unlikely I think it is, that my spiritual experiences could be an illusion or misinterpreted and that I could find that the universe really is not centered on personality at all. I then must face that reality and find some reason to exist as a personal being, or take my life. That really is it.

I agree with the existential defense of spirituality. Our nature yearns toward meaning. I know I do. I really want to have a life filled with purpose and meaning. Loving people. Laughing with children. Eating meals with family. Talking about where God is taking us. Reading about the experience of others (not just godly people). Seeing an artistic rendition of the galaxy from a distance in space. The list goes on...

But I have never taken existential arguments to be dogmas. There is still a great deal I don't know. I'm not sure I should share what that is in detail here. But I don't believe in faking it anymore. When I catch myself doing it, I do my best to stop it and change my direction toward testing faith. Faith does not grow on dishonesty and the denial of knowledge by nearly everyone around me is based on the simple fact that they don't actually believe what they say they do. They appear to get stuck on this. I hope that someday, I will actually know, beyond a shadow of any internal doubt (philosophical doubt doesn't really matter anyway, because it by its very nature is counter-intuitive - it is not bad, but it has a specific purpose). My point is here that when a type of existentialism is made a dogma of life and philosophy it leaves one in a truly contraditory universe, seeking truth that can only be "for oneself" and acting as though one has uncovered something more profound than it is.