Powerful and deep post

Read this post at your own risk....it reflects very deep movements in my soul.

Last night I was lying in bed, musing about various things....one of which surprised me. I was angry....angry that God has done so much in my life and in the lives of those I know. And then it hit me....I want to be an atheist. At one level, obviously, I am an atheist in the sense that I don't have faith in (trusting, relying on) Christ. My life is mostly godless and therefore, atheism is my current way of life. However, I want to be another kind of atheist. The justified kind. And I cannot!!! I cannot get away from what God has done. And I always come back to seeing that and his call to actually live out the authentic Good News, that we can be like Jesus Christ, in my life!!! He keeps drawing me back toward the Kingdom life.

"Someone they haven't met yet."

One of the most profound things I ever heard was from an acquaintance of mine. We were at the home of a mutual friend and we were talking about God, religion, and romantic relationships, as young people often do. It came up in the course of conversation that she had many friends who were atheists or definitely leaning strongly toward that worldview. She said, very simply, that she had many experiences in her life that had to be divine intervention. Then she noted that she likes to view her friends’ atheism in this way: God was someone they had not met yet. Very simple. Profound. Certainly not the only word one could say on this topic, but a helpful thought when in relationship with atheists and people with similar views. I find that simply thinking of it helps me to love them.

I had a friend recently write in his blog that modernity offers us certainty, "but that turned out to be a pipe dream." Is that really true? Is certainty a pipe dream in itself or is our conception of it problematic? We Americans struggle so much with the notion that something can actually be known. It is because existentialism as a defense of spiritual/religious beliefs has become an absolute dogma in many circles.

I have never discounted the possibility, however unlikely I think it is, that my spiritual experiences could be an illusion or misinterpreted and that I could find that the universe really is not centered on personality at all. I then must face that reality and find some reason to exist as a personal being, or take my life. That really is it.

I agree with the existential defense of spirituality. Our nature yearns toward meaning. I know I do. I really want to have a life filled with purpose and meaning. Loving people. Laughing with children. Eating meals with family. Talking about where God is taking us. Reading about the experience of others (not just godly people). Seeing an artistic rendition of the galaxy from a distance in space. The list goes on...

But I have never taken existential arguments to be dogmas. There is still a great deal I don't know. I'm not sure I should share what that is in detail here. But I don't believe in faking it anymore. When I catch myself doing it, I do my best to stop it and change my direction toward testing faith. Faith does not grow on dishonesty and the denial of knowledge by nearly everyone around me is based on the simple fact that they don't actually believe what they say they do. They appear to get stuck on this. I hope that someday, I will actually know, beyond a shadow of any internal doubt (philosophical doubt doesn't really matter anyway, because it by its very nature is counter-intuitive - it is not bad, but it has a specific purpose). My point is here that when a type of existentialism is made a dogma of life and philosophy it leaves one in a truly contraditory universe, seeking truth that can only be "for oneself" and acting as though one has uncovered something more profound than it is.

Postmodernism and the message of Jesus

Here is something I must vent about to, short and sweet and very simple:

There is no way one can reconcile the message and call of Jesus Christ with any part of what is often called postmodernism. If you cannot see that, something is very wrong with the way you are thinking. You simply cannot lump "modernity" into one group as if all people who thought during the "time frame" thought the same way. During the "modern" time frame, many thoughtful Christian people came up with wonderful, well thought out, and balanced responses to the radical (some good, some bad) ideas developing at the time (Galieo's science...and such). We've had Sophists since before Plato. You may know what the word "sophist" means, but can you see how they made the same basic claims that postmodernists make today?

Now they were not perfect and made some mistakes, some of which we see today. But we don't just abandon what they had right, like Descartes' distinction of mind and body. Descartes was not really in the business of pushing the dogma: "we are two kinds of things." And some are sure IF he said that, he must be saying matter is an evil thing. Some my friends actually think this!! And I know for a fact they never read the man with an open mind! He made an important and very cogent set of insights into the nature of things! The two things he uncovers that we is a simple distinction, mind and body(extension). That is what is very important for us. Don't believe me. Read what he said and think through it. Don't just knee jerk. I did that when I was around 20....I thought Descartes was silly. Doubt as a philosophical method? "Silly"...I once said. Now, there is a truth in the limitations of doubt as a philosophical method. But, later, I read it....with an open mind and found there to be much of value in his meditations. I think any person who reads him with the same openness will see his powerful insights for what they are.